Thank you for being such a blessing in my life <3 p="">I can write paragraphs and paragraphs of words, but today, I'm tired, and I've a paper due thurday.
Laters

" And of all these things I've done
I think I love you better now. "

Tuesday:
Thankful for the quick meetup to watch Jaychou's movie.With the clock ticking, every extra bit of time that I get with you become that much more precious, and I'm glad we finally went to watch my favorite after bugging you for a long time.

Wednesday:
Thankful for spending almost the entire day with you. Thank you for planning the date at ecp, it was fun. My favorite part was lazing around on the hammock with you. You feel safe, and I want you to be my safe haven so badly at this point of time. I love our inside joke, Leonie the explorer and your glistening back. Steamboat after that was really yumz and spending even more time with you at my place after was the cherry on top.

What if one day you don't love me any more?
I hope that day never comes.

Monday:
Thankful for the good time we had in jb, getting to eat good food and having the chance to tell you I love you. I know how rough the past weeks were,and how during those times it was difficult to find joy in being with each other sometimes. It just meant so much to me that we got to spend that half a day together, enjoying each other's company. It was very reassuring, and I'm thankful for that.

We're awkward at times, we haven't got all the things figured out and we're imperfect in so many ways.
Things are messy, circumstances are tough, and the road ahead will still continue to be an uphill battle.
But I like us this way, together, trying to work things out.
Me telling you I really need you now.
And you replying you're not letting me face all these alone.


The past two/three weeks have been a nightmare. The demons of my past that I have to fight are really messing me up. Almost every single time I see you this week ended with me in tears. Sometimes it seems like you're getting the shorter end of the bargain because you need to fix me. But it'll get better, it can only get better.

Happy eight months love.
I love you

Wish you're here so badly.

“Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no.”
Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, Love in the time of cholera

One of the bravest thing I've done for myself is to say yes to you.
And when I said yes, I agreed to not just fall in love with you, but to also grow in love with you.

i need you more than you think.

B, if you're reading, can we talk? I miss talking and hanging out with my best friend, and right now I could really use a friend.
虫

Had the most brutal and painfully honest htht last night. Talked alot, cried alot, and the future is still as scary as ever. I know what I signed myself for when I said 'yes', and sure it is nowhere near rational or sane in a cost-benefit-analysis, but I really like you. And I'm not ready to give this up.

I'm gonna be kinda upset and it will def take me some time to be more confident about the nature of our relationship. Love me anyway, will you?

It hasn't been easy. In all honestly, there has been so much doubt and insecurity recently, and it've been really rough for me.
The next couple years ain't gonna be a walk in the park, but still.. I want to do this relationship-commitment thing with you. For a long time.

I want to kiss you
(Even when you annoy me,)
all day endlessly.

I wrote a haiku to declare my love for you, how romantic!
While your pseudo-poem for me only has one line: I love you L.
Silly boy, how do you make me smile so easily?


I know you told me that you'll draw the lines more clearly, but I still can't help but panic a little inside. Please tell me I can trust you. Don't let me down G. Other than that, the past few days was a dream. I love spending time with you, with lots of cuddling in my room cos the haze is stopping us from going out to pah tuo. Reminds me of the good old days in Rice. Why can't you just stay here forever? :(

Meeting you after work later yay! Can't wait!

"And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kindMaking up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel right"
That's how I feel when I see you (again). And really, this feeling never gets old.

I fell in love not with the grand gestures, but with the little things you do. 

Sorry if I made you worried. We'll go to the doctor's tgt next week and everything will be fine, I promise.

• Walking towards each other like those couple reunion in the movies.
• You standing right in front of me.
• A long hug, followed by you planting a kiss on my forehead and me kissing you for a fraction of a second on your lips. Words failed us both.
• Smiling like crazy because the boy I see so often on my computer screen is finally back.
• Holding hands and coming up to my place.
• Meeting my parents for the first time.
• Finally some alone time, where the world and its various problems cease to matter for a while.
• Walked to compass point to get you some real boba. While lining for it, Train's drive by was playing on the background. That's the song that was playing when we were lining for Denny's to have my last real meal in US before flying back home. The insignificant little things I remember.
• Koala everywhere. You said people would think we are a very PDA couple. I said that's only because people wouldn't know that I haven't seen you in 4.5 months.
• Perks of staying on the 16th storey: long enough lift ride for a proper kiss. I've waited for that for way too long.
• Talked more, took a picture to snapchat my roommates, we have too much to catch up and we helped ourselves to a second round.
• Wished time passed slower so that I can have you for a little longer.
• Saying g'bye. And knowing that I will see you again tomorrow.

Happy 6th months love. I love you so much.
I haven't have enough of you, and you're leaving for 16 days.
I miss you already, come back soon.

Right now, I really am happy and contented to have you back home again. You asked if the wait was worth it. Yes it was. 

別再擔心我什麼了 別把我寵壞 
只要你平安回來 就夠浪漫

Tomorrow, I will kiss you like there is no tomorrow, tomorrow.

It feels so surreal and there really isn't any words I can think of that can adequately describe how I'm feeling right now. I'm elated that you'll be back home in less than 48 hours, beyond elated actually. It's like that few seconds before you unwrap the nicest present you've gotten, when its in your hands and you're so so excited to open it. Its knowing that having that present in your hand is nice, but opening it will multiply that happiness a hundred times. And you are that present. Having you in my life is pretty sweet, but having you back home, I'm gonna be so happy. This is a failed attempt at describing my feeling

“Choices are made in brief seconds and paid for in the time that remains” 

― Paolo Giordano, The Solitude of Prime Numbers

Reading through some of our past whatsapp conversations and feeling extremely nostalgic about it. I'm still glad for all that happened, for the confusion and hesitation and reservations that I had about you. I guess in a way those made me even more sure about the choice of getting together with you. And for once when I think about the distant and unknown future, I really hope with all my heart that you will be part of it. For a long time.
Please come back safely from your camping trip. I'll try not to worry too much and get some sleep in the meantime. And in 6 days time, I'll be back in your arms again!

'Can I take you, take you higher?'

Talking to you, and all the stuffs that happen in between,will always be the highlight of my day.

Thank you for putting G in my life.

I wondered all the time how different our lives would have been if I didn't say hi to you on the first day of oweek, if we didn't become friends, if we didn't decide to take the plunge, if we didn't get together, if this if that..

Maybe it's a stroke of luck, maybe it's fate, maybe its divine intervention. Regardless, here we are now, together, and I couldn't be more thankful for having you in my life. Thank you for being the best thing I can ever have these past 10 months. I love you G.

You take me on the craziest ride, and make everything worthwhile.

I never want to forget how I feel about you, because right now, it feels like I can do this forever, as long as we are in this together.

Too far, you're too far away.

When we're busy with school, meeting new and old friends, time seems to pass faster, and there is comfort in sticking with a certain Skype routine. But when school is out, the depth of loneliness creep in, slowly. We get needy, and those random Skype calls and whatsapp messages become more important than ever. A few more weeks, a few more weeks, a few more weeks. Then it's all gonna be good.

"And while I didn't yet know the reason, it frightened me much more to think of him getting hurt than it did to think of someone else getting hurt. Just the idea made me shudder, and left me feelings as if a heavy stone had lodged in my chest."  Yoshimoto's the lake

"What I want is what other people take for granted: the chance to feel the night tighten around us like a noose. To ask, Did you set the alarm? To say: Remind me that we are running out of toothpaste. To have our time together not be so romantically charged but instead, just plain boring."
Jodi Picoult, the storyteller

I count December 2012 as one of the best month of last year, and thinking back about it still puts a smile on my face, every single time. That December was great, we did fun things like watch three Rockets games, go on dates, walk along sketchy parts of SF, went to the Grand Canyon, went skiing and I can go on forever. Don't get me wrong, I love spending romantic alone time with you and do fun things together. But for me the best part that month was the part where I get to practically live in with you, where I get to do mundane little things that many will take for granted. Spending that much time with you lets me see the parts of you that is so hidden from most people. It makes me notice the smallest little things: like how you get annoyed if the bathroom rug wasn't placed properly, or how you will fold your blanket with the same amount of precision every single time, or how my Santa bear is always sitting atop the mountain of pillows you have. And all these little things, they make me love you more, and every single day I wish I was back in the US, because I was so happy there.

I really can't wait for you to get back home so that I can tell you in person how much i'd missed you and how patiently I have waited just to feel the nearness of you.

Stuffs

1. Its 46 more days til G is finally back home. Nothing gets me more excited than this.

2. The past two weeks have been possibly the worst weeks of this sem, and I've realized that there's more things for me to worry/ more things that I'm worried about. Its a bad feeling because of all the negativity that surrounds and I feel upset more than half the time. Let's hope things start to get better soon.

3. Learning to love you more. Loving you is opening up more and showing you the side of me that no one else had ever seen, it is letting you see the insecurities that I've always had but somehow managed to hide it well. Loving you is letting you in, and daring to be more vulnerable because I trust that you'l keep me safe. Loving you is learning the art of compromise, is wanting the best for you, is patiently anticipating and keeping the faith.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C.S. Lewis

Its a strange feeling when the person I feel emotionally closest to is the farthest away.

4. Thinking about what B said about how I (used to) live my life, and how everything is so different now.

"We can’t be together because we’re in different places. And we strive for connection, any we can get. Skype, phone calls, emails, texts, sending gifts. We have to try to touch with our hearts and minds since our bodies can not. It’s the worst. But it’s also a new, brilliant way of reaching each other. We get to share so much, because we’re getting to share so little in the way “normal” couples do. We take what we can get.. The distance doesn’t matter. It doesn’t erase you from my life. It doesn’t weaken your presence. It only makes you more important, more lovely, and more worth fighting for. "

Karen Noble, Distance Doesn’t Matter, I Still Think About You All Day Long


I miss you so much I want to cry, guess the accumulated stress from school and missing you ain't a good combination. If you were here, you'll have gotten me a hot chocolate and we will talk for hours and everything will be okay again. If you were here..

This weekend is gonna be a quiet one, without much of skyping you because you'll be too busy being involved with beer bike. But it's okay, its gonna be super fun for you and go win that banner!

Anyway I've just come to the realization that we do spend at least a good half hour or an hour (almost) everyday sitting in front of our laptop talking to each other. And that is something I don't want to change. I don't ever want to run out of things to say to you, I want us to always talk to each other about stuff, big or small, significant or mundane stuff. I'm gonna have another three years of this Skype-talking thing with you, and I don't know what's gonna change, nor what's gonna happen in the future. Regardless, someday when we all look back at this period of our life, I hope everything is well worth it.

"I know I love you because I worry about the stuff only people who love you worry about, like the amount of quality sleep you get a night and how much you drink when you’re sad and whether you’re getting enough vitamin B. I know I love you because I freak out when you’re obviously disintegrating yet too stubborn and too “I’m fine” to actually go to the doctor, even though I do that sort of thing myself."
 Thought catalog

This seems especially apt now that we're both ill. At times like this, I wish I'm in Houston to take care of you and nurse you back to health, and only then will I stop worrying about you. I worry for you way too much, you do too, but maybe that's how it's supposed to be. 

Just want to hug you to sleep and wake up next to you, and everything would be much better.

"Not really sure how to feel about us,
something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
it takes me all the way
I want you to stay."

I miss you so much that sometimes it gets dangerously easy for me to want to be angry and upset and jealous and all that nasty stuff, instead of being thankful for what I have. There are days when I feel so inadequate for not being there with you. Just please know that I love you so much. L

Valentine's day skype call!

Thank you for making me so happy every single day, for making the effort to wake up early every weekday to skype me, for splurging on gifts that I told you was unnecessary, for never letting me feel inferior and insecure, for including me in your present and your future. To many many many more months and years together. xx

"Plane tickets are booked. And the countdown begins. Really can't wait to be right beside you again.."

I'm looking forward to you coming back home too love.

It has been almost a month of doing long-distance with you. It's not easy, but doing this together with you makes it less daunting. 

For now, as long as I get to tell you I love you every single day, hear you tell me the same thing back, and we both know that we really mean it, then that's a good day. So far, every day has been a good day.

I love you, and I'm glad we're fighting for each other to be together because the alternative is letting go of what we had, and that would be such a waste.

Roadtripping!

Home sweet home!

I promise I will update soon! But right now, its alot of unpacking, texting my love and finally spending time with the people that matters.